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8.15.2010

How It All Began


I read a very inspiring post last week about one's 'faith journey', how you start to move out of their comfort zones with no promised results or defined path and only allows you to rely solely on God. Looking back, my own faith journey has been a very interesting trip indeed.

My first memories of joining the Christian world has been pretty vague. I basically lived a Catholic life, studying in an all-girls exclusive school (you can start guessing which one it is). I was part of Days With The Lord my Senior year and even tried joining another Christian group a couple of months before that. I would go to Sunday mass occasionally; read the Bible once in a while but never really took it to heart. I cursed, partied and relied on myself in making decisions and life choices. In short, I was your typical, lukewarm believer.

Five years ago, two of my close guy friends asked me to join them in one of their Sunday services. I was in an unfulfilling relationship, and I knew that both of them wanted to save me from heartache and misery. At the time, I refused to be saved. I made up some feeble excuses about "not being ready" and chose to go on with my then-selfish desires.

Years passed, fast forward to 2008. The unfulfilling relationship was long gone because I felt tired, bored and guilty; I knew that it was time for me to start loving someone in the light. In the past I used to ask God to make that relationship work --- now I fully understand why He never answered that prayer. I knew that it was time for me to love someone in the light. For the first time in my life, I said, "God, You be the one to choose for me." And He did. He granted me a believer...and my journey begins.

So you're probably thinking that I "automatically" became a Christian just because my boyfriend was. Oh no! I was not to be swayed that easily. I shrugged it off ("Maybe next time") or act nonchalant ("Tried that before. Not for me."). Every Sunday we would go to Galleria, and every evening I would spend a good two hours window shopping, waiting, or hanging out at the coffee places. Anything but Sunday service! My boredom got the best of me, so after a year of aimlessly wandering around the mall every week, I "tried" it.

I could barely remember what the first service was. I just remember hearing a live band play and the pastor's words speaking to me. I knew it was not the pastor's words, but God's word speaking to my heart. I knew He had been waiting for me, and I finally came. And came back. And back again. I have been attending Sunday service for over a year now and I love how it renews my spirit.

And thus begins my faith journey. I am probably what you would call a true blue "child" of God. Since I am still learning to walk steadily in God's path, I still stumble a lot, like a kid. Elementary in my ways? Probably. But I am in this with a big leap of faith. All I have to do is BELIEVE.